Archive for survivorship

Discovering life is fragile is a process

January 31, 2012 cancer, survivorship 2 comments
Broken mirror

Image via Wikipedia

There are phases to a cancer diagnosis. Some people equate them to the stages of grief, but I think it goes deeper than that. After nearly eight years of living with my own diagnosis, most of that time as a peer counselor and an active participant in online support forums, I’ve seen some predictable patterns, expecially among people under 35 diagnosed with late-stage disease.

There’s the why me? period. And the what caused this? period. There’s the I-want-to-hear-stories-of-hope (and only that) period. There’s the if-I-eat-different-and-juice-and-exercise period. And always, scariest, is the stats-are-stupid/don’t apply that goes hand-in-hand with the I’m-gonna-beat-this! period.

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January 15 – hello, winter

January 15, 2012 life, survivorship One comment

Madi sneaks a cuddle to share the warmth.

It’s not so much the snow, although we got about a foot which predictably drifted into the shoveled out sidewalk to my front door, and then courteously blew away a small space so that Madi could exercise a bit without needed her own snowplow blade.

But starting on Saturday, Jan. 14, the temps began to fall, and pretty soon Siberacuse was earning its nickname. Saturday night, we finally went below zero to -15 up here on the hill, and we barely made it into positive numbers all day on Sunday.

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A little tech can get you through

January 6, 2012 life, survivorship, the 'net 3 comments

When I started treatment the first week of May, 2004, I had a pretty basic LG flip phone and a Palm m505 PDA. It wasn’t too long before I decided that I needed an iPod (I know, a little late to the party, but seven to nine hours in an infusion chair in a single day, and a total of 12-15 hours in infusion every two weeks, convinced me that despite the cost, I was worth it. On to my first iPod, a third-generation 10g box that is heavier and bigger than most modern smart phones. 7+ years after purchase, it no longer holds a charge – but it runs just fine from a iPod dock as part of my home stereo system. Read more

Hey, 2012 – bring it on!

January 1, 2012 cancer, survivorship 7 comments
A plastic yellow bucket.

A plastic yellow bucket for my 2012 bucket list - how LiveSTRONG appropriate! Image via Wikipedia

I know that my last post was a bit darker than usual for me, and for that I apologize. One thing I’ve learned about cancer is that pain control is job #1, and without adequate pain control, it’s very difficult to focus on anything else. It’s also easy peasy to get dark about looking forward.

So yesterday and today I’ve bitten the bullet, and increased the oxycodone. I seem to be mentally functional for a good part of the day if I take 600 mg Ibuprofen plus 5 mg oxycodone in two doses about 12 hours apart, with a booster dose around mid-afternoon of 400 mg Ibuprofen plus another 2.5 mg oxycodone. It’s more oxycodone than I want to take.  I DO sleep more soundly and longer at night, and want badly to nap during the day. But at least I am sleeping, and I’m not spending every waking minute counting the time down until my next dose. So, fingers crossed that this will keep working. Read more

Stage IV rectal cancer: 7 years and 9 months in…

December 26, 2011 cancer, survivorship 9 comments

Where's the "strong" in LiveStrong?

Normally, I’m more upbeat than this post. But today I sat (or rather, laid) here reading a support forum post about “hope for Stage IV” from a caregiver, where the patient is less than a year out from diagnosis…overjoyed to be converted from inoperative to potentially eligible for surgery.

I remember that feeling. I was excited, too.

I read a post from a 27 year old Stage IV colon cancer patient two weeks out from colon/liver resection surgery, who wants to know about her fertility options. She wants to bear a child – even though, even if she could, her chances of living long enough to raise that child to adulthood are still slim and none.

What I found, after my visit to the support forums, was a crystallization of thoughts that have been floating in and out of the pain meds all weekend. Someone needs to say this out loud. I guess it might as well be me. Read more

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